I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize