Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize