i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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