tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
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