Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
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