Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize