I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
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I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
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I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
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