So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize