But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize