i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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