she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize