I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
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