Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
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