i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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