Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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