Sry I called you an 8
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
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Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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