Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize