My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
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you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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