I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
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