then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Randomize