I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
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I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
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CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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