Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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