Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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