it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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