Quick, to the slutcave!
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
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Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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