She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
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