Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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