i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
I did not marry a roomba.
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