My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize