im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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