PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
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He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
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