And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
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