i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize