What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
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