I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
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I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
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you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
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