i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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