My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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