You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
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I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
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That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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