Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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