she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
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The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
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He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
dude. I can hear the air.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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