I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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