I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
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