Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize