So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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