those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
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should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
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