I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Randomize