Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize