I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
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