She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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