Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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